I can’t do this anymore. It’s time for “us” to be over. We both know it.
When I met you in late May, I was totally into you. I’ll admit that you helped me see the city in a totally different way. After a wnter of rain and darkness, you made everything seem so fresh and new.
Because of you I went skating, rekindled my love for iced tea, cozied up under a lazy fan and watch my favorite old movies, spent evenings in concocting great meals. You know how I love the sensuality of the simmering pots on the stove top.
The Fourth of July was lackluster, and I know had nothing to do with you. Without you, none of those things wouldn’t have happened. I know that. And it’s not like those times weren’t great. But it’s time to move on. And you know why.
For one thing, I’m starting to grow weary of you constantly burning me. I don’t want skin cancer again, you know. It hate schlumping around in clothes that smell of BO and perspiration – you make me nerviou!. I mean, give it a rest already! How about you let me just relax and wear something comfortable? I am SO over your tyrannical and unsightly fashion sense.
Also, you constantly make me late. I mean, how many times have I been late for appointments, concerts, hell – even work? You’re slowing me down. Even strangers – bus operators, taxi drivers – have made comments to me about you. You must have heard them – you were right there when they said it! And still, you just don’t care. I have to move at a faster pace than this. I can’t have you dragging me down like this forever.
And then there’s your heat towards me. There have been so many days, a couple of months ago, when things have been great – my job, my friends, my family. And then WHAM – your blazing, angry heat slams into me and makes me not even want to leave my house. When you do that, it makes me feel like I have nothing to live for. And we both know that’s just not true! I can’t continue to let you affect my outlook on life in this way. It’s unhealthy, and I’m not putting up with it anymore.
What’s more, my friends HATE you. They complain about you all the time. And whenever my family calls from Down Under, they ask if you’re still hanging around. They’re always surprised to hear that I haven’t shaken you yet. I try to put you in a positive light, but nobody’s buying it anymore. Not even me.
I don’t want to be a jerk or anything. And after the fun times we’ve had, I hate to hurt your feelings. But you deserve to know that I’ve got my heart set on someone new. Someone who is totally cool and encourage me to get outside more often. Someone who will make me feel lighter and freer.
My friends and family keep mentioning that this new relationship is just around the corner, if only I can get rid of you. So please. Stop tapping on my window. Stop showing up at my office after work. Stop messing with the steering wheel in my truck. I am moving on.
I’m leaving you for Autumn.